Definition of Fear
by Poxifill
Summary: What happened after that end scene during The Doctor's name? What happened to Clara, Madame Vestra, Jenny, Strax, and even the Doctor? Were they able to make it out alive? Bold and italics are direct quotes from The Doctor's Name. AU
1. Just Another Ending?

_**A/N: Hello everyone, this is my first Doctor Who fanfiction and I am a little nervous about posting it. I would love it if you could leave me a review and let me know what you think and if you want me to continue with this (Not sure where I want this to go yet…) I would be your best friend. **____** Also the bolded and italic is direct quotes from the Doctor's Name.**_

_****** DISCLAIMER!: I do not own Doctor who and/ or its affiliates. The sole rights belong to BBC and Steven Moffat.******_

_**I don't know where I am. It's like I am breaking into a million pieces and all I can remember is that I have to save the Doctor. He always looks different, but I always know its him. Sometimes, I think I am everywhere at once, running every second. Just to find him. Just to save him. But he never hears me, almost never. I don't know where I am, I just know I am running. Sometimes, its like I've lived a thousand lives in a thousand places, I'm born. I live. I die. And always there's the Doctor. Always, I am running to the Doctor to save him again, again, and again. And he hardly ever hears me, but I've always been there. Right from the very beginning. Right from the day he started running. I don't know where I am, I don't know where I am going, or where I've been. I was born to save the Doctor, but the Doctor is safe now. I'm the impossible girl, and my story is done... I blew into this world on a leaf, I'm still blowing, I don't think I'll ever land... I'm Clara Oswald, I'm the impossible girl. And I was born to save the Doctor...**_

Clara clung onto the leaf as hard as she could. She was scared, and hurting. She felt like she was on fire, every breath she took felt like she was being torn apart by thousands upon thousands of memories, events, people. And she could not take it. She stumbled through the Doctor's time stream as the leaf guided her home. All the while the Doctor talking to her, telling her that he was in his own time stream.

_**"Clara! Clara! Clara, come on. Come on, to me now. You can do it, I know you can." The Doctor said in a hurried voice.**_

_**"How?" She asked as she limped around and faced the Doctor.**_

_**"Because its impossible, and you're my impossible girl. How many times have you saved me, Clara? Just this once, just for the hell of it, let me save you. You have to trust me Clara, I am real. Just one more step." **_

And Clara burst out into tears as she hugged the Doctor tightly. And then it all happened, she felt light headed, and all the pain came at her at once like a brick wall. She collapsed into the Doctor's arms...

"What are you going to do now, Doctor?" Jenny asked as they stood right inside the Tardis. The Doctor had just landed right back where they belonged in Victorian London.

"Well, I will make sure that Clara makes it through alright, I don't know, maybe land on a cloud..." The Doctor began to mumble to himself. Little did they know, Clara was waking up slowly.

"Doctor, don't shut us out. Don't leave us out of this we were there too." Madame Vestra stated as she watched the Doctor again, a frown still plastered onto his face.

"I won't."

"Don't forget us Doctor, I am serious. We don't want what happened to you after Amy and Rory to happen again." Jenny added.

"This is different!" The Doctor's voice growing, "Clara is NOT dead, I will NOT let her die on me. Not again."

Clara tried to open her heavy eyes with no avail, she slowly moved her head to the side where the noises were coming from. Slowly, she tried to sit up, but instantly regretted it. Opening her droopy eyes she was blinded by the lights and realized she was in the Tardis once her eyes had adjusted. "D- Doctor..." She managed to get out, but it felt like a whisper. Instantly the voices stopped as they all looked at her. In the background though, they could hear Strax yelling at a horse.

"We should go." Madame Vestra said as she gave the Doctor a wary glance and walked towards Strax.

"Take care Doctor, Clara..." Jenny nodded as she followed behind her wife.

"Will you quit waving that thing in my face?" Clara asked as she pushed the sonic screwdriver out of her face.

"Sorry." he muttered as he looked at the readings and frowned.

"What? I don't like that look, Doctor, what is it?"

He put a hand on her forehead, "You're burning up." He said as she leaned into his cold palm.

"And you're cold." She mumbled as she looked around the Tardis. "Do you always keep the lights so bright?"

"Bright?" He looked around, the Tardis was surprisingly dark, the only light was coming from the console. "Clara, I think it's time we get you to a proper bed now, instead of a chair. Can you walk?"

"Yes of course I can." She said as she started to get up but instantly regretted it.

"Hey now, I've got you." He said sadly as he picked her up in his arms.

"Mhm." She mumbled into his jacket as he blindly navigated down the corridors towards her room.

"Don't worry Clara, I will not let you die. Not this time." He promised more to himself than to her.


	2. A New Start?

**_**A/N: Hey guys, so here is the second chapter of my story. I am going to go out and say this right now, I am not so sure that this is the greatest chapter, I kind of left off on the last chapter a little strange because I wasn't sure about continuing or not, let me know if you would like me to keep going with this and any ideas you would like to see happen if I do continue. Anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think! And I am also looking for a Beta, any help would be greatly appreciated… This is a little gory so I will make sure that the rating is right on this… Constructive criticism wanted. Enjoy reading… **_

_**~L.~ ****_

Two days had passed since Clara had woken up in the TARDIS, and they had been a tough couple of days. Clara was still not feeling herself, nightmares haunted her nightly, she had a terrible head ache almost every day since she had woken, and then there was the cluelessness on who she really was. The Doctor could sense that she wasn't feeling alright, even though she tried to pretend to be perfectly fine. There was sadness and pain in her eyes, and it killed the Doctor slowly.

Xxxxxxx

It was late in the evening when Clara had suggested going home, the Doctor frowned not wanting her to leave after all they had been through, and he was afraid that she might be pulling away from him, not wanting to travel around with him or even worse, see or talk to him anymore. Reluctantly he had taken her back home, praying for the right day, hour even, and he listened to the hum of the TARDIS as they traveled along through time.

Clara leaned against the wall of the console room just staring down at her shoes, thus making the Doctor frown as he watched her. He had never seen her in so much pain, let alone see her shut down completely like she was doing. Clearing his throat, he said into the awkward air, "We're here, Maitland residence, Wednesday evening, ha!" He smiled trying to lighten the mood. "I might have even gotten the week right too. That'd be a first…"

Clara smiled a sad smile, "Thank you Doctor." She said quietly as she opened the TARDIS doors and walked outside into the cold night air.

"Next Wednesday, eh?"

"Doctor, if you don't mind, I would like to have a week or two off. You know, concentrate on my life here for a while."

"Oh." His hearts fell.

"I'm sorry." She said quietly.

"Now Clara Oswald, you've just lived a thousand lives, I completely understand. Just give me a ring when you're ready." He rubbed his finger on her cheek.

Clara nodded before turning and walking into the house. The Doctor waited for a few minutes to see if she would change her mind before going back inside the TARDIS and glancing around the console. It was so quiet now that she was gone. Sighing, he pulled a few levers unenthusiastically and listened to the TARDIS as it took off.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

It had been two weeks since the Doctor had left Clara at the Maitland's, and she still hadn't called. Of course though, the Doctor was watching her to make sure she was alright. He was there when she went to the library with Artie and Angie, or for the long walks she would go on every evening before it got too dark, or how she would sit in silence in her room almost every night.

Xxxxxxxxxxxx

_ Clara ran from the sounds of screaming and terror, the Doctor screamed in agony as he was thrown from her side. Stopping suddenly, she turned and screamed his name as blood oozed out from his side. Crying, she tried to stop the blood, "Doctor, please, help me. I don't know what I am supposed to do." He screamed yet again as he began to writhe on the dirt._

_ "Run, Clara, run." He managed to get out._

"_What?! No I am not leaving you!" _

_ "RUUUUUNNNNNNNNN!"_

_ And Clara took off running, tears streaming down her face as she left the Doctor's side. Just then, she feels sharp pains in her back and head. Screaming, she collapses on the ground to see a dalek, cyberman, and a whisper man combined into one creature. Crying, she watched as suddenly her world went black. With her last breath that she was allowed to breathe before her world went black, she screamed for the Doctor._

_Xxxxxx_

Clara woke to find herself staring up into the Doctor's eyes. "Hey, it's alright, it was just a dream, you're safe now." He cooed as she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her head in his shoulder. Clara cried silently, not even caring that the Doctor had somehow knew that she was having nightmares and that he was in her room, she was just glad to have his presence.

"I'm sorry for leaving." She said quietly as he sat down next to her on her bed.

"I understand you needed time, Clara." He replied sympathetically.

"No, it isn't okay, I just lived a thousand lives and I feel that all I can remember is you dying." She leaned against his shoulder again, "I don't even have any idea who I am anymore. And then after everything we've been through I just don't think –"

"Clara Oswald, don't you dare think that you aren't important, you're one of the most important people I've ever met. You've kept me grounded more than a lot have people have in a long time." He interrupted her, she doubted herself. That's why she had left in the first place.

"I want to go home." She said softly into his shoulder again as she drifted back into a deep sleep.

The Doctor wasn't sure what she meant by 'home' for sure, but he had a pretty good idea, home was the TARDIS. It was where they both felt safe. He stayed with her for the rest of the evening, only to go back to the TARDIS early the next morning before the Maitland's woke up.

Xxxxxxx

Clara awoke to Angie staring down at her, groaning softly, she muttered, "What time is it?"

"It doesn't matter what time it is. Your boyfriend is here. It isn't even a Wednesday…" Angie replied.

"What? He's still here?" Clara asked as she got out of bed and regretted it as her vision began to swirl again.

"What is it with you? " Angie asked as she crossed her arms.

"Hm? Nothing I am fine. I am going to get dressed, go eat breakfast." She said as she walked over to her wardrobe.

Ten minutes later Clara was walking down the street to where the TARDIS sat on the sidewalk. She took a deep breath and knocked on the door.

"Come in." The Doctor answered as she opened the door. He sat on the stairs with his sonic screwdriver and something which looked like it belonged on the console.

"You didn't leave." Clara said as she shut the doors behind her.

"Of course not, I wasn't going to leave until I was sure you were alright." His face held an expression she could not read.

"So you still are going to leave?"

"Only if you want me to leave." He said as he stood up and put his tools down and walked over to where she was standing. "Do you want me to leave?"

They were quiet for a minute before she replied, "No. But I don't want to leave either. Not yet, anyway…. Would you do something for me?"

"Anything."

"Stay here? With me? Just for a while?" She added nervously, "You show me all these amazing places, but you never stay somewhere long enough to see the full value of life on one planet is like."

"I don't know…"

"Let me show you what it is like, Doctor, just for a while. Then we can travel and save the universe for as long as you want to."

The Doctor was at a loss of words, there was only one other time when he had stayed on the Earth for a period of time, and that was with the Pond's. His expression scared Clara, she couldn't tell what he was thinking or what he would say or do next. He stepped forwards some so that he and Clara were only a few inches apart before saying, "Alright."

Clara grinned. "Really? Are you serious?"

He nodded his head and said nothing more as he felt the energy in the TARDIS shift, maybe a break was what they both needed.

"Thank you Doctor!" She said as she hugged him tightly before grabbing his hand and pulling him out of the TARDIS.

_****A/N: AHHH! I honestly don't know how I feel about this chapter. I was really blocked after how I left the last chapter… So hopefully you really enjoyed this, and as I mentioned before, I am looking for a Beta, so if you are interested just let me know! I wanted to stop this chapter after about 700 words but I made it longer for you. Couldn't help myself! **____** Thanks for reading and make sure you leave me a review!**_

_**~L.~****_


	3. Nightmares That Still Haunt

_**A/N:**__** Hello again everyone, so it has been a while huh? Well, I am back, with huge thanks to Jesusisboss who made my day as well as probably my week… Since they were a guest user I couldn't thank them for their insanely kind review in a private message. So, Jesusisboss, if you are reading this thank you. Without your help and encouraging words I probably wouldn't be writing this! And as to everyone else, please enjoy reading!**_

The Doctor didn't know where the impulse to say yes to Clara's question about staying on Earth with her had come from. Maybe it was the way she had made him feel or the sheer look of pain on her face. But here he was, mentally kicking himself for actually agreeing. Sure he had lived up on a cloud after Amy and Rory died, but that was different, his TARDIS was there to comfort him and he did enjoy the solitude.

"Doctor?" Clara asked softly as they sat on the staircase in the console room of the TARDIS, the two had been rather quiet.

"Hm?" He replied as she laid her head on his shoulder, hearing both of his hearts beat.

"Did you genuinely mean it?" She asked curiously as she stared at the console and listened to the TARDIS hum in life.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because, for you Clara, I would jump off a bridge or travel to the farthest galaxy if it meant to be with you." He didn't know why, or how, but he really truly meant it, all the way to the bottom of his hearts.

"Thank you, Doctor."

The Doctor nodded as the duo became silent again, listening to the TARDIS hum mixed with the sounds of their steady and constant breathing.

~Xx~

A week had passed and the Doctor was missing his adventures. Sure, the Maitland's welcomed him with open hands, but he was going crazy with the boring human life without anything eventful to do. Clara was still having daily nightmares, which she refused to talk about saying that she 'wasn't ready yet'.

The Doctor snuck away to his TARDIS, which they had stuck behind a bunch of trees and bushes in the Maitland's backyard, one day while Clara helped Angie with her homework. He didn't know how long he had been in the TARDIS before he turned and saw Clara leaning against the door with her arms crossed at her chest. He honestly couldn't tell if she was angry that he snuck out or if she was admiring him from afar… Deciding to go with the latter option he smiled and simply told her, "She misses me."

"How do you know?" She asked in curiosity as she came down to where he was standing next to the console.

"Because of the way she welcomes me." He said simply. "It's rather… em… hard to explain." He muttered as he fiddled with the controls again.

"I understand." She said quietly before looking up at him rather sadly. "I feel rather selfish Doctor."

"It's fine…. Wait, what? Why?"

"I asked you to stay here, when you love to travel, when you love to travel and save the worlds. And here I am keeping you hostage."

"Clara Oswald. Don't you dare say that, I would give my life to spend every day with you." He looked her in the eyes to make sure she understood.

"My dreams, I've been dreaming about you."

"What?"

"You, I've been dreaming about you dying in my nightmares, being pulled apart by some creature out for blood, or the Weeping Angels getting to you."

The Doctor scowled as he ran up and sonic-ed Clara's face. "Weeping Angels? You haven't even met them yet."

"But I've seen them. " Clara protested. "Through the eyes of other lives… well my other lives."

The Doctor watched her as her body language continued to stay in a secretive form.

"I was there when Amy and Rory died, well… I know it happened, but instead of it being them, it was you. And River was there too…"

"River…"

"Yes Doctor, River was there. What happened to her? She doesn't talk to me anymore."

"The link was em, broken." He muttered a reply as he ran a hand through his floppy hair.

And once again, silence filled the air between them as they both processed the information that was shared between the two.

"Doctor?" Clara asked finally.

"Hm?"

"Can we go somewhere? Somewhere amazing but without Daleks and Cybermen, or any harmful creatures for that matter?"

The Doctor beamed, "I know just the place!" He replied giddily as he ran around the consoles smashing leavers and pulling and pushing buttons.

_**** So I am sorry, I know this is extremely short, I will write something a little longer soon. This was just kind of a filler because I am not exactly sure where this will go yet. As always, thank you for reading and leave a review!****_


	4. A New World

"Welcome to Netrax, a world of peace and tranquility, well… They weren't always…, They were once a great world of war. But with my help, they changed…" The Doctor beamed as he stepped out of the TARDIS doors and held Clara's small hand in his.

"It's beautiful." Clara breathed as she looked around at her new surroundings. Around her, trees the sizes of skyscrapers stood, the crisp air smelled of cherry blossoms and ginger. The grass swooshed around her as the wind gently kissed her skin, the sky shone with bright blue and silver tints high above the Doctor and Clara. Everywhere around them flowers swayed back and forth with the gentle wind.

"Hard to believe that this place was once a dark place of war huh?" The Doctor nudged Clara as he started to walk forward. "Come on."

They walked down the gravel street until they stood in the middle of a bustling plaza where hundreds of venders stood exchanging items and currency. "They're human." Clara breathed as she watched the people wander about.

"A lot of them are, yeah."

"What year are we in?" Clara asked as she walked up to one of the venders.

"5112, if I am correct."

"So we live then…"

"Yes, of course! You humans always pull through, all of the wars, and hard ships, you even travel to distant planets in 1301…" The Doctor smiles as Clara looks around, something is still off about her and he can't figure out what it could possibly be.

The duo walked hand in hand for a while before the Doctor jerked back out of Clara's grasp. As if by magic, all those nightmares came back. "DOCTOR!" Clara screamed as she whipped around to find that there was no Doctor in sight. Freaking out a little, Clara frantically started to look for him. "Doctor?!" She hissed rather annoyed as she began to look through the plaza.

"For you, make your shape slimmer." A merchant said as he shoved the blue glowing bulb into her hands, smiling politely she replied, "No thank you." Before turning and continuing her hunt for her Doctor.

XXXXXX

"Why did you bring us here, eh ole' girl?" The Doctor questions as he polishes the outside of his TARDIS. "And why is Clara taking so long? CLARA! Oi! Hurry up! I am growing impatient!" He yelled as he opened the TARDIS doors and stuck his head inside.

After several minutes of pure silence, the Doctor gets a strange feeling in his gut that something is wrong. "Clara?" He asked as he walked into the TARDIS. Panicking, he realizes Clara is nowhere in sight. "CLARA?"

XXXXXXX

Clara makes her way back to where the Doctor had parked the TARDIS less than an hour ago only to find that there isn't a TARDIS there anymore. "Doctor?" Clara asked panic sitting in her stomach. Clara rushed up to the very spot that once held a TARDIS and put her hand through the space hoping that it was disguised or whatever it was doing to play a cruel joke on her.

"No." She whimpered as she ran around frantically with no avail. "Don't do this to me!" Clara cried finally as she sank down against a wall and buried her head in her hands.

XXXXXXX

"Clara? I know you are here… I can feel you." The Doctor said as he moved around the console slowly, before an alert flashed on the screen in Gallifreyan. "What?!" The Doctor asked as he whipped around. "But… But… That's not possible; I only left her in here for a moment." He pulled out his sonic screwdriver and started flashing it around the room scanning everything and anything, until he notices something weird. "Clara, where are you? I know you are there… I can hear you." He said as he walked over to where he thought he could _feel _her most.

"I don't know what's going on Clara, and I know I promised you to a nice trip, but this will end nicely I promise." He said more as a vow to himself than to her.

XXXXXXX

Clara cried for some time before she heard a throat clear above her. Wiping her tears she looks up to find a familiar face.

"Oi. Why are you crying now?" The familiar girl says as she puts her hands on her hips.

"What? I'm sorry?!" Clara asked stunned by the girl.

"Father has been looking for you for DAYS now, Clare!"

"I think you have me mistaken with someone else…"

"Clare, don't be silly. For god's sakes, you always come up with a new excuse. First it was that imaginary boyfriend of yours that you always called 'The Doctor' and then it was the proposal and whatnot. Father is already livid as it is Clare, don't make it worse."

"Oswin, have you found Clare yet?" A man comes around the corner and stops when he sees the two.

"Right then, come on girls, the ship leaves soon."

"But… But, I'm not Clare!" Clara struggles against the man's grip as she is forced forwards. "DOCTOR!" She screams as they board the ship.


End file.
